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Feeling pleasure from my long cock. Whether you struggle with sex or are just looking to explore new possibilities, discover new sensations, deepen your pleasure, or enhance intimacy with a partner — mindful sex can benefit just about everyone.

Before you graduate to partnered mindful sex, though, it's best to start solo. When I first started exploring mindful sex which you can read about here , I found all its big claims hard to buy.

I'd never experienced a single benefit from meditating, despite people insisting it was the answer to my crippling anxiety.

Why would this be any different? Despite my resistance, the results from even the most basic exercises turned me into a true-blue believer. I felt the need to find definitive proof, though, knowing that skeptical, anti-meditation types like myself would want some tangible results to suspend their disbelief long enough to try it themselves.

So while doing several mindful masturbation exercises over the course of a couple weeks, the Muse meditation headband tracked my brainwaves.

For good measure, I also tracked one of my orgasms with the Lioness , a biofeedback tracking smart vibrator. For each of these experiments I did a sort of "control session" using regular meditation as a comparison, trying to account for as many variables as possible.

I set my Muse to a rainforest soundscape, which gets stormier as your mind gets more active and then gentler and eventually produces a bird chirp if you reach a prolonged state of calm.

You get more bird chirps the longer you stay calm. The charts below represent the score the app generates based on how much time your mind was active light purple , neutral medium purple , or calm dark purple during a session, with larger dot sizes indicating more calm and the number of dots representing the length of time in a session.

Blue dots indicate bird status. To clarify, the number of dots doesn't equal number of birds. Remember, the quantity of dots represent elapsed time.

But don't just take my word or these results as proof. Try it, following our tips for beginners of mindful sex here to prove it to yourself.

Listen, this was a rough night. While enduring a peak of political hell as the coronavirus pandemic became increasingly real for everyone, I was battling a phone buzzing with incessantly apocalyptic news notifications.

Meditating was harder than usual, and it's never easy for me. With nothing but me and the Muse set to give no guidance or instruction, every stray thought and noise yanked me out of my body and back into the spiral.

It was exponentially easier to let the spiral go when I had more sensory stimuli to focus on. I used a Lush massage bar on my bare skin, which not only made touching my body feel lovely but filled my nostrils with the smell of calming lavender as I inhaled deeply.

In pleasure mapping or mindful sex body scanning, either you or your partner touches every part of your body to discover what feels good, what doesn't, what level of pressure you like in a touch, if there's a type of touch you prefer, etc.

In this session, I didn't touch any erogenous zones which is recommended for mindful sex beginners at first , since the exercise is supposed to show the difference between regular goal-oriented sexual touch versus the exploratory, non-demanding sensual touch of mindful sex.

By taking the pressures of getting off out of the equation, you learn to separate sensations of arousal from anxiety-inducing expectations and thoughts, such as "What if I can't orgasm?

With the real-time feedback from Muse, I noticed my mind get stormier whenever I touched my tummy, a major source of my body image issues. But it felt empowering when I heard a bird chirp after touching my neck, which has always been a trigger for me from previous sexual trauma.

Mindful sex can be a great way to both help you identify those triggers, then provide the mindset to help conquer those sources of distress.

But it takes a lot of practice and patience. In other erotic body scanning experiments, I used guided recordings from audio erotica platform Dipsea.

I usually love their pleasure mapping guided erotic meditation. But it felt as though I'd advanced past needing guidance leading to only 6 percent calm , instead preferring to take my own path in mindfully exploring my body.

In another session I did an erotic body scan with my partner's hands exploring me instead, but that showed poorer results too 26 percent calm.

This only goes to show that expert advice is right: It's best to graduate to partnered mindful sex, because another person inherently introduces new insecurities and factors.

It's harder to remember that this is about you, and your relationship to your pleasure alone. For this control session, I decided to try to mimic the tantric session as much as possible by choosing a guided breath-focused exercise from the Muse app.

It definitely improved my experience, but breath has always been a tricky focal point for me. I get weirdly obsessive about perfectly aligning with the instructor's timing, and this exercise exacerbated that anxiety by adding a count of 10 breaths.

Whenever I absent-mindedly counted past 10, I'd get upset with myself and my brain would get stormy. Towards the end though, I was much better at just accepting this impulse without reacting negatively.

Honestly I was pretty skeptical that this one would do me any good. I'd tried this guided session from Dipsea "Breathing Deeply" before and liked it less than their other mindful sex guides.

But this time I found the hyper-focus on localized deep breathing helpful to releasing any insecurities that usually come up while I'm naked like a big belly from deep breathing, for example.

One of the main differences between tantra and other mindful sex practices is this higher premium on a specific type of breath also known as orgasmic breathing.

It's supposed to train you to disperse sexual energy throughout the body, helping your muscles relax rather than tense during moments of arousal, and allegedly leading to better climax.

I've found other mindful sex practices like pleasure mapping instead encourage a bit more active analysis of your own experience, coaxing you to sit with and explore unpleasant sensations as much as the pleasant ones.

This is probably counter to how Muse tracks success, since it can lead to thoughts that are less calming but still fruitful for your mindful sex practice.

But tantra aims to reach a liminal headspace that allows you to more fully lose yourself in being a body receiving stimuli with no sense of self.

That might be the kind of brainwave activity Muse rewards more. Just a regular, guide-less meditation this time. I noted that it was after having a bit of wine and weed, though, so I had aids helping me relax.

At the same time, I was also dealing with a bit of annoyance with my partner, which melted away by the end of the session. During the control session for mindful sense-play, I was 69 percent calm.

Now technically, all these experiments are mindful sense-play in a way. But specifically, I wanted to experiment with the kinkier definition of the word, which describes everything from BDSM spanking, to temperature play think hot wax and ice cubes , and blindfolding.

There's interesting preliminary research happening right now into the relationship between mindfulness and BDSM at the University of British Columbia's Brotto Labs , one of the premier institutes for mindful sex therapy and research.

While studying this is still in the early stages, the hypothesis is that pain and BDSM might actually be great tools for advanced mindfulness practitioners.

As Cara Dunkley, the Ph. It demands intense focus upon an intense sensation. Also, on a neurological level, mindfulness has been found to reduce activity in the part of the brain responsible for our sense of selfhood and mind wandering.

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I usually love their pleasure mapping guided erotic meditation. But it felt as though I'd advanced past needing guidance leading to only 6 percent calm , instead preferring to take my own path in mindfully exploring my body.

In another session I did an erotic body scan with my partner's hands exploring me instead, but that showed poorer results too 26 percent calm.

This only goes to show that expert advice is right: It's best to graduate to partnered mindful sex, because another person inherently introduces new insecurities and factors.

It's harder to remember that this is about you, and your relationship to your pleasure alone. For this control session, I decided to try to mimic the tantric session as much as possible by choosing a guided breath-focused exercise from the Muse app.

It definitely improved my experience, but breath has always been a tricky focal point for me. I get weirdly obsessive about perfectly aligning with the instructor's timing, and this exercise exacerbated that anxiety by adding a count of 10 breaths.

Whenever I absent-mindedly counted past 10, I'd get upset with myself and my brain would get stormy.

Towards the end though, I was much better at just accepting this impulse without reacting negatively. Honestly I was pretty skeptical that this one would do me any good.

I'd tried this guided session from Dipsea "Breathing Deeply" before and liked it less than their other mindful sex guides. But this time I found the hyper-focus on localized deep breathing helpful to releasing any insecurities that usually come up while I'm naked like a big belly from deep breathing, for example.

One of the main differences between tantra and other mindful sex practices is this higher premium on a specific type of breath also known as orgasmic breathing.

It's supposed to train you to disperse sexual energy throughout the body, helping your muscles relax rather than tense during moments of arousal, and allegedly leading to better climax.

I've found other mindful sex practices like pleasure mapping instead encourage a bit more active analysis of your own experience, coaxing you to sit with and explore unpleasant sensations as much as the pleasant ones.

This is probably counter to how Muse tracks success, since it can lead to thoughts that are less calming but still fruitful for your mindful sex practice.

But tantra aims to reach a liminal headspace that allows you to more fully lose yourself in being a body receiving stimuli with no sense of self.

That might be the kind of brainwave activity Muse rewards more. Just a regular, guide-less meditation this time.

I noted that it was after having a bit of wine and weed, though, so I had aids helping me relax. At the same time, I was also dealing with a bit of annoyance with my partner, which melted away by the end of the session.

During the control session for mindful sense-play, I was 69 percent calm. Now technically, all these experiments are mindful sense-play in a way.

But specifically, I wanted to experiment with the kinkier definition of the word, which describes everything from BDSM spanking, to temperature play think hot wax and ice cubes , and blindfolding.

There's interesting preliminary research happening right now into the relationship between mindfulness and BDSM at the University of British Columbia's Brotto Labs , one of the premier institutes for mindful sex therapy and research.

While studying this is still in the early stages, the hypothesis is that pain and BDSM might actually be great tools for advanced mindfulness practitioners.

As Cara Dunkley, the Ph. It demands intense focus upon an intense sensation. Also, on a neurological level, mindfulness has been found to reduce activity in the part of the brain responsible for our sense of selfhood and mind wandering.

Similarly, those who practice role-playing BDSM often describe entering an altered state of mind called "domspace" for dominants or "subspace" for submissives that seems similar, as Dunkley described it.

I've experienced that subspace in the past through roleplay and pain, so I hoped the Muse could capture this unique mindset that can result from BDSM.

But evidently, pain didn't help my meditation. Whether that's because it was the wrong time, situation, incompatible with how Muse tracks success, or the theory just doesn't pan out, I can't say.

Using body-safe wax with my partner resulted in only 28 percent calm, my brain growing stormier with every tense anticipation of another drop of hot wax on my chest.

The lack of success might also be due to us communicating less than usual, since Muse counts that as "active" brainwaves.

But communication is key to proper BDSM and reaching subspace for me, at least. However, a gentler version of sense play proved much more fruitful.

My partner ran a downy feather up and down my body to add a new sensation to partnered pleasure mapping, resulting in 48 percent calm.

Still, it wasn't as good as my initial control session, but I'm not giving up on the potential usefulness of BDSM sense-play as meditative. It could be that in both these instances my calm was thrown off by the factor of a partner being present, which always lowered my score during these mindful sex experiments.

At the same time, rub your clitoris or play with your nipples at the end of this solo session. Sit in front of a full-length mirror with a big tube of lube.

Pour the lube all over your body — your breasts, belly, inner thighs, and vulva — and start sliding your hands over these erogenous zones.

Pinch, squeeze, pull, tug, rub — do whatever feels good and pay attention to what really gets you hot and bothered. Instead of jumping right into touching yourself, why not set off slowly and get your other senses tingling?

Not only are erotic stories entertaining to read, but they also let you discover your sensual and sexual side. Kinky literature encourages you to fantasize and discover sexual pleasures in a safe, fun way.

Check out literotica. Check out FourChambers for super sensual erotic films based on anonymous user stories subscription required.

Listening to sexy sounds can be just as — if not more — arousing as reading erotica or watching porn. Audio lets your imagination run wild as you lose yourself in the details of the story.

Check out Audiobooks. Plus, there are so many health benefits to self-pleasure Reduced stress! Better sleep!

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What are the different types of masturbation? Orgasm type Type of masturbation clitoral Most people use their fingers to play with their clitoris, but vibrators and other toys can also bring pleasure during solo play.

Right before you orgasm, you may feel an intense need to pee — only the contractions are around your anal sphincter. You can use both hands to play with your vagina and your clitoris or a combo of a sex toy and fingers.

These areas, known as erogenous zones, can cause pleasurable sensations throughout your body when played with.

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